After complaining we never do anything together anymore, duck agreed to chick’s idea to, yes it’s true, train for the marathon…sign making competition. This grueling 26.2 mile course won’t make signs itself, so we have decided to enter the ING New York City Marathon…motivational sign making competition. We don't have much time. The race is this weekend.
Here are the TOP ELEVEN signs you don’t want to see on your last mile of the marathon…most countdowns go to ten, but ours goes to eleven...
11) ADVANCE TO PARK AVE. COLLECT 200 DOLLARS.
10) BORED SPECTATOR CROSSING NEXT 26.2 MILES
9) FUCK YOU!
8) RUNNING WON'T BRING YOUR DEAD GRANDMA BACK
7) YOU'RE STILL FAT
6) 21 YEAR OLD MALE SEEKING IN SHAPE ATHLETIC WOMAN
5) DID YOU CATCH LAST WEEK'S 'FIVE AND A HALF MEN'?
4) WRONG WAY
3) THE KENYAN WHO CAN'T AFFORD SHOES FINISHED 5 HOURS AGO
2) IF YOU RUN PAST A 7-11, WE'RE OUT OF MILK
1) I WENT TO THE NYC MARATHON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS CRAPPY SIGN
Honorable Mention:
*CIRCLE ME BERT
*YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS ON A TREADMILL. YOU'RE NOT IMPRESSING ANYONE
*RUN LIKE THE TOWERS ARE COLLAPSING...WHAT ARE WE NOT LAUGHING ABOUT THAT YET?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
8 months. 27 days. 26.2 miles and one broken-hearted chick.
In so many ways in so many days have we changed here at duck-and-chick enterprises. For damn near a year D&C have gone on hiatus, but why you ask? Let’s backtrack a little, shall we…
After an argument over spilled milk, Duck left the country and continent for the continent/country of Australia (as Duck attained a green card, Chick held onto his v-card… sick burn). Whilst in the land of oz, duck ventured out of his aviary to find a swan hailing from his native country and continent. Needless to say, Chick was crushed when he read the news via messenger pigeon. For eight months and twenty-seven days, Chick furiously flapped his little chick wings and squawked his little chick squawk about the demise of D&C as we know it…that is, until today.
Still on eggshells, Chick agreed to a reunion summit on the current state of affairs of D&C Enterprises in Columbus, O-HI-O. Both sides wanted this carried out properly and democratically. Thus former statesman and Great Compromiser Henry Clay was flown in from the dead to MC the event. Drinks were had. Tears were shed. And feathers were ruffled. What resulted would shatter the world in posts to come…but not before some conditions were set in stone (not literally, that would be so “B.C.” of us)…
These three terms came to be known as “The Three Terms.” And here they are…
1. no swans allowed
2. to combat loneliness, chick hired the stylings of one dr. toad, m.d. of Madison, wis-con-sin for group therapy once a week
3. never talk about fight club
After an argument over spilled milk, Duck left the country and continent for the continent/country of Australia (as Duck attained a green card, Chick held onto his v-card… sick burn). Whilst in the land of oz, duck ventured out of his aviary to find a swan hailing from his native country and continent. Needless to say, Chick was crushed when he read the news via messenger pigeon. For eight months and twenty-seven days, Chick furiously flapped his little chick wings and squawked his little chick squawk about the demise of D&C as we know it…that is, until today.
Still on eggshells, Chick agreed to a reunion summit on the current state of affairs of D&C Enterprises in Columbus, O-HI-O. Both sides wanted this carried out properly and democratically. Thus former statesman and Great Compromiser Henry Clay was flown in from the dead to MC the event. Drinks were had. Tears were shed. And feathers were ruffled. What resulted would shatter the world in posts to come…but not before some conditions were set in stone (not literally, that would be so “B.C.” of us)…
These three terms came to be known as “The Three Terms.” And here they are…
1. no swans allowed
2. to combat loneliness, chick hired the stylings of one dr. toad, m.d. of Madison, wis-con-sin for group therapy once a week
3. never talk about fight club
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)